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JOvember

It's the first thing I knew
about myself
about my family
about alternatives to nature
that allowed me to be nurtured

It's the first thing
I let others know
once I decided
I'd let them know me
Get the facts out there
someone might know
someone who knows something....

I don't know when the fortress walls
went up keeping my soul
safe inside the courtyard
the castle walls reinforced with
bricks of humor cemented in sarcasm
keeping me in and others out
without any of us being the wiser

Believe this, they said.
This is true, they decreed.
For the best, they assured
No one will ever know
and it will be as if
a)it never happened
b)she were your own

It's the first thing I knew was true
about myself
about my family
that alternatives that allowed me to be nurtured
didn't always seem like second nature.

This was true:
there was another
this was also true
she did not dance alone
This too was true
she did not die in a fiery car crash
she existed
in another place
another time
another town
She was out there, somewhere.
This was true.

My mother taught her children well
Dream big, she said
reach far, she prodded
live large, she taught
whether she meant to or not
so, I believed and dreamed and reached
larger than I ever thought possible

Because one day,
I'll know who she is,
and she will know who I am,
and she will see her self,
and her dance partner,
and the women
who came before and after
and the woman
whose nature
led her to nurture
your child into me.


Happy birthday, 20, and 65.
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